However, it was a time of trial severe
A time in which I was tempted to fear
I wish I’d be more faithful now
Instead of occasionally taking a bow

O Lord, I cried, why this? why me?
Are you not God, do you not hear my plea?
Your servant is in need of help
Your son is not happy with what you’ve dealt

Oh, grace, how grand you can be
So nifty and glorious, so perfect for me
And yet, you are the hated gift
For to control you makes an unfathomable rift

I wanted you to come with your pleasures too
I desired to again be made new
But you were withheld from my grasp
Even when I prayed, sought, and asked

Now, you certainly weren’t gone entirely
I’m sure, if that were so, I’d no longer be
But, you were more distant than ever before
At least not since you first entered the door

It was a time of trial and refining
Taking this ugly man and toward you conspiring
To make me more than ever before
One who trusted in you more and more

Oh, my God, it was a torrid time
I wanted my Father in his prime
But this was a time of hardship and growth
It was a time that I was loath

But, now, O Maker, O Majestic One
You have again answered your son
You have showered upon me grace upon grace
I have seen anew the glory of your face

This joy and fulfillment makes it all seem
Like a time of trial is well worth a scream
If it results in a greater view
Of your glory, your grandeur, and You

Your sovereignty reigns supreme again
Maybe one time I’ll remember that when
Things are happening as they should be
Remember: God’s in control, and he loves me

With the higher origins now sorted
Perhaps further investigation won’t be thwarted
As to how this word of the vow
Exhibits its true self here and now

Love is hard and shaped by denial
The true seeking of another all awhile
You lay down your wants, your dreams, your very self
All for the benefit of someone else

It’s a rather hard thing to truly do
Perhaps that’s why its gotten right by so few
It doesn’t make sense in a world such as this
Always focused on me and my momentary bliss

But there remains hope for those willing to try
We must follow his example and to ourselves die
He laid aside all the glory and fame
Because of the love that so constrained

Such love, how vast it is
That very God would become man and die for sin
Nothing can quite compare to this
Our love is never greater than his

But we are called to follow his example
To love the whole world, not just a sample
And we are also given a privilege of grace
To be to a girl in Christ’s place

Not that we replace him fully
In fact, our goal is to point her wholly
Toward her Maker, Savior, and Paraclete
Because with them, we are not to compete

Instead we are to love like the anointed Son
To endure all things for the benefit of the one
Whom God chooses to be our partner in life
A newly formed team focused on glory and light

Humility to the divine plan
A heart willing to take from his hand
Should not this affect developments
Oh God, does this make any sense

And then there is the ‘maybe’
The wait further and then we’ll see
This could more aptly be called
The origin of longing or desire-mauled

How difficult it is to wait
Especially when things seem beyond fate
Compound this with doubt and double talk
How on earth should I think or walk

I think on this land the answer is withheld
Only in the new does the solution dwell
It’s beyond my ability and power
Tis truly God’s appointed hour

Oh act for me, my holy Father
Oh make me hold the truth without falter
Help me in this time of longing
May for you I primarily be found fawning

This working happens behind everything
However most have no idea of this sovereign King
But for those of us graced to be sons
We know the truth behind every-thing/one

What sort of posture does this knowledge breed
Both for our heart’s desires and our needs
The answer is one based on God’s sovereign state
A Christians must pray, seek, and wait

Waiting seems a terrible lot
I want to act, to say I’ve fought
Maybe just to gain a quicker reply
Or perhaps so I can claim something as mine

Why do we protest the master plan?
Why don’t we submit with open hands?
Don’t we see that waiting on God
Allows his glory to shine wherever one trods

Only he gets the claim, the credit, the praise
When we wait on him and pray in his name
So, let us seek to wait on our Master
He still hears and works, even when we want it faster

The party was led, brave and carefree
When suddenly there rang out that which should not be
Curiosity, Fear, and Alarm came at once
The predator had been given a spectacular bunce
The moment has arrived, soon it would be lost
Action was required or heavy would be the cost

Quick was my reply, a deep roar from within
Alongside one ally cowered, while the other rushed in
No, said I, this was my battle to win
This beast is my equal and not yours, my friend

The fiend’s fierce retort in us shudder renewed
But no ground could be given, or else three would be two
My mind raced within me as I yelled as a man
We needed retreat to safety; we needed a better plan

Projectiles were the answer; they provided needed escape
Under their protection we hurried; we ran with mouths agape
We arrived safe and sound; the battle was won
The fiend we could kill later, after we had purposed a gun

I’m in shock; it’s hard to feel
What just happened; can this be real?
Evil untold has reared its face
And come unexpected to this place.

I know the world was fallen in sin
But this is your church, how did it get in?
Especially transgression of this level
This wrongdoing smells of the devil.

A bitter odor to be sure
One that bestrides raw manure.
Oh, my God, in this I cannot see
How your plan could good ever be.

You could take the seat behind,
And watch my awesome plan unwind.
Be sure to let me know how it feels,
To not have control but just to deal.

I’m not sure what would become of the world as a whole,
but of this I’m sure, MY satisfaction would be full!
Ah, what a thought, evil though it is
Especially at a troubled time like this.

Alas, I’m human; I’m created
You are God; You orchestrated.
You are self-sustaining and needless of me,
I, unlikewise, am meager and weak.

I know this truth and want to submit
I deeply and truly want to repent.
Desires for holiness rage within
Oh, how I long to be free from sin!

But, do you want a performance, a show?
I’m not a good actor, but I can give it a go.
Or would you rather an honest heart,
Even one that flirts with the dark?

Be gracious, O Lord, and help me see
That you have a great plan indeed.
And while it’s easy to question and shout,
By grace through faith I need not doubt.

You are for me and desire my good;
Help that at last to be understood!
In particular the fact that my good is found
Within the proper response to one so crowned.